By
Emily Zemler
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3 days ago
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Last week, Paramore announced that they will unveil their fourth album next year. They also announced that they will be naming the disc after themselves … and personally, we absolutely hate it when artists self-title albums that aren’t their debut. This got us thinking about some of the other annoying things musicians have been doing lately. And we want them to stop. So, bands and artists, please consider this a helpful guide on what not to do. Thanks in advance.
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1. Self-titling albums that are not your first album
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Why would you self-title your third, fourth or, if you are The Cure, 12th album? We know that you are trying to say “This is who we are now so please ignore our formative releases and pretend that this is the album that defines us” but what you’re actually saying is “We’re too lazy to come up with a real album title.” It makes sense to self-title your debut, because that’s the world’s first introduction to you, but it’s just obnoxious to assume that a record four discs into your career is in anyway more self-defining than your prior. If you wrote a book, you wouldn’t name it after yourself, right? No. This note is especially for Paramore and their upcoming fourth album… Paramore.
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2. Unnecessarily drawing out your album promo
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Paging Carly Rae Jepsen (and every other pop artist in America). It is not news when you release your single cover art or when you “reveal” a still from an upcoming music video. Just give us the info, all at once. It doesn’t make you more newsworthy when you announce an album, album title, a tracklisting, album cover art, single, single cover art, single video teaser, single video and single remix as separate pieces of news. Let’s be realistic: It’s all the same thing!
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3. Faking us out with “special guests”
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Did you realize that The Black Keys’ Patrick Carney is on Ke$ha’s new album? No? Well that’s because you would have no idea unless someone told you that he plays drums on one song on the disc. Does that make him a special guest on the album? Not exactly. Iggy Pop, who sings on one of the pop star’s new tracks, is a special guest, because we can actually tell when we hear the song. As in, it makes the song bigger than it would be without him. No one ever really talked about how Tommy Lee played drums on the Jack’s Mannequin album, much like Carney, which means they don’t really qualify as special guests.
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4. Re-packaging old albums as new releases
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Did we really need any of the music on Nicki Minaj’s Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded – The Re-Up or on Lana Del Rey’s Born To Die (Paradise Edition)? Not at all, but the artists and their record labels certainly made you think you did. It’s been a trend over the past few years for musicians to release an album and then re-release it a few months later with a few bonus tracks and maybe a DVD. Most of those bonus tracks are usually crap (eh-hem Nicki). Why do you need another copy of the same album? Let’s stop worrying about releasing every single track you’ve ever made in the studio and start worrying about putting out good ones worth the fans’ time.
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5. Wearing baseball caps onstage
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This is the most inane of these grievances ,but also the most annoying. It’s just not appropriate for a musician to wear a baseball cap onstage. It covers your face and makes you look like you don’t care. Jack Antonoff from fun. recently donned a red hat during the KIIS Jingle Ball and in the mix of all the dolled up pop stars and Ne-Yo’s fedora, it just looked lazy (sorry to single you out, Jack, but come on). Let’s save the baseball hats for baseball games, please.
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